Man Finds Meaning

Man Finds Meaning
Met my soon to be ex-wife on the beach to talk about things, the lies she told, how it hurt me, and hopefully find some common ground. We thrashed it out, there were tears and angry words. Then understanding and the beginning of reconnection. Then a storm started and I invited her back to see my place for the first time. We sat up talking, then laughing, then dancing, and it was like reconnecting with an old and trusted friend. It was beautiful. It feels like an important turning point and the beginning of healing and moving on.
Divorce 023: An Unexpected Reconciliation!
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We moved out of our family home three months ago, and it's been a pretty dark time. Feel like I'm starting to come out of it now, and I've just moved into my new flat. I found out quite recently that my wife already has a new partner, a girlfriend (I knew she was bisexual), but I didn't think it would happen so quickly. She originally lied and told me they didn't start seeing each other until we moved out, which I'd asked her not to as it would only make a painful situation much worse. Then the truth came out that they'd been seeing each other for months, and my daughter had met her several times. They've been on holiday together since the move, which I found out from a Facebook photo. It was hurtful to hear. And I e been quite angry about it. I have really have tried to see it from her point of view as well. In her mind we were separated so it didn't matter. But I still feel like I've been taken for a fool. So, in an hour we're meeting up on the beach to talk things through. I hope it leads to some kind of reconciliation.
Divorce 022: About To Talk With My Wife About Her Lies.
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We split up two weeks ago. I'm now living 15 minutes away from my wife and daughter, who I see twice a week and every other weekend. She's been really clingy recently, not like her at all, especially when we try to drop her off at her new nursery. wouldn't let me leave. The manager suggested just going and getting past it. But given all the disruption in her life recently that just seems too much. If only the best way forward was obvious. I know people will have their opinion, but when it's your own kid it's very hard.
Divorce 021: The Effect On Our Daughter
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Finally got a moving date. Moving out in three days. Easy to get melancholic and ruminate about all the memories we've made here, but it's better to think about what's ahead. Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good - at least compared to a few month or even weeks ago. Stopped drinking again, which has helped a lot. Feeling healthier and more confident. Been doing some personal and professional development work, building the picture of who I want to be, and also learning new skills to keep my enthusiasm up at work.
Divorce 020: Feeling Ok, Ready To Move On
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I thought my wife and daughter were going in holiday tomorrow, but they've already left. It was an unexpected relief. The moment I had been dreading has already passed. And now it's time to move on. I'll be here in this house for the next few days, and I've made a plan of how I'm going to use that time.
Divorce 019: Now We Don't Live Together Anymore
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Tomorrow my wife and daughter are going on holiday for 10 days. By the time they come back I'll be moved out. Then the house sale will complete. It feels weird. Nostalgic. The end of a chapter, and the start of a new one.
Divorce 018: Last Day Together In Our House
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*This video refers to men discussing significant issues like their mental health, or problems in their life. Not just normal everyday feelings. Despite being told we should talk about our feelings and our problems more, is that actually the best thing to do? Some say it devalues us in the eyes of our peers, and especially women. Even if they seem supportive at the time. Personally, I can say I've fallen into the trap of talking too much about my 'issues'. And in part, that it led to the breakdown of my marriage. But bottling stuff up can cause more psychological distress and even dangerous behaviours. So what's the answer? I believe there's a middle ground. Here's what I think is a healthy, strategic approach to dealing with difficult or overwhelming emotions: 1. Write it down. It helps you articulate what you're thinking and feeling. 2. Speak to a professional over the phone, online or in person. Someone you don't know. Use them as a sounding board to help articulate and shape how you feel. 3. Then talk to a small number of select people. Perhaps your best mate. But don't just broadcast your feelings to anyone and everyone. And although you should talk to your wife or girlfriend about stuff that really matters to you, do this first. Because this too will pass. ------- WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT: I'm separating from my wife. We have a two-year-old daughter. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But something inside me is activated by this. So I'm documenting my journey. Because it helps me articulate my thoughts and feelings, and sharing my experiences with you gives a sense of meaning to it all. HERE'S MY BLOG www.ManFindsMeaning.com
Should Men Talk About Their Emotions?
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Despite the fact I'm separating from my wife and we have a two year old daughter, I'm actually starting to feel much more positive. I think the main reasons why are: 1. We had a conversation with our daughter about moving house, that went really well. That's been a huge relief emotionally. Here's the full conversation, in case it's helpful for you. https://youtu.be/scRXpUA5SJs 2. I'm in the process of buying a flat, and starting to imagine myself in my new life, and that's exciting. 3. I've tried not to bottle things up too much, and allowed myself to grieve. It's been painful at times, but I really think it's so important for healing. I also made this video about how to survive divorce as a man. It's quite hard hitting but that's because it's real. https://youtu.be/KQYvFyHMC_M
Divorce 017: Things Are Starting To Look Up
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I'm going through a separation and we have to move out of our family home in a couple of weeks. It's the hardest thing I've ever done. But I've made myself call someone. Good friends. And it helps. They can't make everything ok. But it's good to know someone cares. If you're going through a hard time right now, give someone a call. Real friends appreciate you reaching out.
Divorce 016: Real Friends Appreciate You Reaching Out
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